With the incidence of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) recently changing from 1 in 88 to 1 in 50 children, it’s likely that all of us know someone impacted by this disorder.  Given that likelihood, what can we do to support children with Autism and their families? I guarantee that if you walk in their shoes for just a little while you’ll have a much greater understanding and appreciation of both the joys and the struggles of Autism.  Here’s how:

First, educate yourself about Autism.  According to the Autism Speaks website, Autism is “characterized, in varying degrees, by difficulties in social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication and repetitive behaviors.”  Boys are four to five times more likely to be diagnosed with ASD than girls.  Despite difficulties with social interactions and communication, many individuals with Autism “excel in visual skills, music, math and art.”  Websites like AutismSpeaks.org and Autism-Society.org both offer reliable and up to date information about Autism.  Also, NBC’s hit show, Parenthood, features a boy named Max who is diagnosed with Asperger’s Disorder.  This show offers a realistic portrayal of Autism Spectrum Disorders and their day to day impact on families.

Next, take what you’ve learned about Autism and share it with your kids.  There are several great books geared for kids that can help get the conversation started and keep it going.  Two of my favorites are The Autism Acceptance Book and My Friend Has Autism.  All kids need friends, and children with Autism are no exception.  Boys and girls with Autism are especially susceptible to being bullied, so it’s important to teach our kids from an early age how to be a friend to their peers with Autism Spectrum Disorders.   

If your child has a classmate or peer with Autism, arrange a play date or invite the family over.  Find out if there is anything you or your kids can do to make the outing or event as successful as possible.  Children with Autism are more than their diagnosis.  Get to know them, their likes and dislikes, their hobbies and interests, and you’ll be certain to find more things in common than you ever realized. From one parent to another, I encourage you not to let the diagnosis of Autism keep you from reaching out to a child or a family.

And last but not least, get involved!  April is Autism Awareness Month.  In your community there are lots of ways to show your support for children and families living with Autism.  For example, on April 2 you can promote Autism Awareness by wearing blue or displaying a blue light bulb by your front door for Light It Up Blue day hosted by Autism Speaks.  Or, you and your family can participate in one of the many walks supporting Autism happening in April all over the country.  Whatever you decide to do, I’m sure you’ll find that like me, you’ll be the one blessed beyond measure.

Click here for the free e-book Sticks and Stones: Helping Your Child With Autism Spectrum Disorders Cope With Bullying.

But if I was the parent of any of these precious children, I can promise you that knowing the cause wouldn’t help.  My child would be gone forever and no answer would change that devastating fact.  No more kisses and hugs.  No tucking them in at night.  No growing up.  Nothing.  Gone.

The parent side of me knows that.  The child psychologist in me knows another story.  I speak from the trenches, not as the parent trying to access services, but as the child psychologist helping parents navigate the system day in and day out.  I firmly believe that our mental health system is not the reason this massacre occurred.  Adam Lanza is.  But he clearly suffered from serious mental health problems.  And this tragedy should serve as a wake up call to change our mental health care system now.  By doing so we could very likely prevent this devastation from occurring again in yet another classroom, movie theater, or shopping mall.

Currently in my community I can count on one hand the number of child psychologists and psychiatrists available to assist children.  That means that if you are concerned about your child and want to access outpatient services then you will have to wait.  For a long time.  I’m talking months.  There are waiting lists in my state that are a year long.  Can you imagine being told that you may have cancer but you won’t be able to be seen by a doctor to discuss your diagnosis and treatment options for six months?  That’s what it feels like to parents who have children with serious mental health issues waiting to be seen.  Unimaginable.  There simply aren’t enough child psychologists and psychiatrists to go around.

If you are fortunate enough to get an appointment after your agonizing wait, you then have to either be wealthy enough to pay for it out of your pocket or lucky enough to have health insurance that covers outpatient mental health services adequately.  Good luck with that.  In my experience, the inability to pay eliminates the opportunity for quality mental health care for the majority of children.  If they can’t pay, parents are told to ask their pediatrician for advice because then it might be covered under their health insurance policy.  They are advised to get help instead from their school counselor because that would be free.  Those options might seem like good ones, but behind the scenes the pediatricians are equally outnumbered by the volume of mental health care patients, and typically one school counselor is responsible for the mental health needs of an entire school.

And what happens when your child still isn’t well after rounds and rounds of different medication trials and years and years of outpatient therapy?  Sadly there aren’t many options.  Private inpatient beds are hard to come by and often the length of treatment approved by insurance carriers is not sufficient to meet the needs of the patient.  Other alternatives include having your child put in a juvenile detention facility or state mental health hospital.  Neither are appealing options and so the child who desperately needs help and the parent searching frantically for it are often left to their own devices.

It’s a sad but familiar commentary.  It feels hopeless.  But I don’t believe that it is.  I think there is a way to change our system for the better.  To do something now that will allow children with mental health concerns to get the help they so desperately need.  I wrote about it in August after the massacre in Colorado.  The post Does My Child Need Therapy? came from my honest belief that the parents of these perpetrators know something isn’t right with their child from a young age, but either don’t know what to do or over time have exhausted the resources available to them.

I wrote Does My Child Need Therapy? as a guide for parents to know where to start to get the help they need for their children.  But I also wrote about an ideal system.  One where all children starting at a young age get to visit with a therapist for regular check-ups.  Here’s an excerpt:

In a lot of ways, I think all children (and parents) could benefit from some therapy.  Sort of like going to the dentist every six months for a cleaning or the pediatrician annually for a well visit.  Just to check in and see how everything is going.  Any problems?  Anything you’d like help working on?  If so, let’s set some goals and get to work.  If not, we’ll see you again next year but feel free to call us sooner if you have any problems come up.

If all parents had regular contact with a therapist from the time of their child’s birth, they would be able to get help with typical and atypical childhood behaviors throughout their parenting journey.  Studies show that by adulthood, 1 in 4 Americans have a mental health condition.  We must change our system to focus on the prevention of mental health problems right from birth, not wait until the problems are so severe that they cannot be treated.

A shift of this magnitude would require A LOT of work.  Increased funding for mental health services. Insurance reform to cover preventative mental health care.  Training of more professionals to provide these services.  Better integration with the medical community to provide quality long term care to those suffering from serious mental illnesses.  A shift in our collective thinking about the value of mental health.  Overcoming the stigma of mental illness.  At some point, accessing mental health services should be as simple and routine as getting your flu shot each fall.  We’re not there yet, but together we can be.

In loving memory of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting.

For more information on talking with your children about this tragedy, visit my first two articles in this series How To Talk With Kids About Unthinkable Tragedy and Your Follow Up Questions Answered.

I wanted to include it here also in case any of you needed more information on how to get help for cutting, for yourself or someone you know.  Unfortunately  cutting is on the rise with 1 in every 200 teen girl having cut themselves.  But cutters aren’t only teens, sometimes younger children or adults cut to relieve their emotional pain.  If you or someone you know has problems with cutting, follow up with the resources below or reach out to a psychologist in your area for help.

The Question:  I need somebody to talk to.  My brain is reeling and the only way I can cope with the thoughts of those bad memories, all of them, that’s all I think about, is by letting them out of my arm. That is the reason for the cuts, for the scars, for everything.  All the pain has caused me to cut myself over and over, leaving the oh so infamous scars.  I’m afraid. My cutting is getting worse.  If I told them my teachers and my “friends” would try to help, but I know there is no going back after that.  They would bring me to more counseling.  I couldn’t take anymore, they would see the scars.  I’m on the verge of suicide, and I have no one to talk to.  Please help me.

My Answer:  Let me start by saying that you have taken the first and hardest step in getting better, asking for help.  You are so brave to have reached out to the online community.  And you have so much insight already about your feelings.  There are so many people that care about you, both people you know and people you don’t even know like me!  And you’re right, talking with someone about what’s going on in your life is the perfect place to start.

Even though it may seem hard, it’s so important that you talk to a trusted adult in your life about your cutting.  Some examples include your parents, a teacher, the school counselor or nurse, a doctor, or a grown up that you feel comfortable sharing with.  Let them know that you have been cutting and want to get help.  If the first person that you tell doesn’t take you seriously or doesn’t help, then try talking to someone else.  Just don’t give up!

Once you tell an adult, they should help you get to a psychologist or a counselor.  Even though you said you had tried that before, it’s worth it to try again.  Maybe you didn’t get along with your first counselor or the two of you just weren’t a good fit.  If that’s the case, you can find a different therapist so that you can start fresh and get the help you need to feel better now.  There is help for you to feel better and to learn to resist cutting.  A trained therapist can teach you the skills you need and be available for you so that you can talk about your feelings.

In addition to telling an adult and seeing a therapist, there are also telephone hotlines available that you can call 24 hours a day to talk to someone about what you’re feeling.  If you’re thinking of hurting yourself, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).  If you are being abused or are in danger from being hurt by someone else you can call Child Help 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453).  Even kids or teenagers can call these numbers!  No matter what though, if you are ever in danger of being hurt (either by yourself or someone else), you need to get help.  If it is an emergency, call 911.

I am attaching some links for more information about how to help your cutting and about the hotlines you can call.  Keep up the good work of reaching out to education.com and now reach out to an adult in your life who can get you the help you need to get better.  You are so very worth it!  Thank you so much for writing to education.com and for sharing your feelings with us.  I for one am cheering you on (along with the whole education.com community)!

Each workshop costs $50 and lasts for two hours, but if you mention my blog you’ll get $10 off your first workshop with me.  You will need to pre-register by calling Transformations at (334)705-0071.  You can also stop by Monday through Friday between the hours of 10 am and 4 pm to register for a workshop or shop in the gift store.

Check out my fall 2011 workshops listed below:

Does My Child Have ADHD? 

Do you suspect your child might have ADHD? Before heading off to the doctor for a prescription for medicine or the psychologist for a comprehensive evaluation, try this two hour workshop for all you need to know to make the best assessment and treatment plans for your child.  You won’t leave the workshop knowing if your child does or does not have ADHD, but you will be equipped with the knowledge of exactly what you need to do to find out for sure.

Managing Your Family’s Technology Habit

Does your family spend more time communicating online than with each other?  Is your television or cell phone constantly getting in the way of quality family time?  Then this workshop is for you!  In two hours you’ll learn the skills you need to decrease your family’s technology use to a reasonable level and increase the quality time that you have to share with each other.

Parenting a Child With ADHD 

Do you have a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD?  In this workshop you’ll get insight about the disorder, learn how to be an advocate for your child’s treatment, and gain skills for how to manage your child’s behavior at home and on the go.

Reducing Parental Stress

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and stressed as a parent, then this workshop is for you.  In two hours, you’ll learn the skills you need to reduce stress in your life and transform yourself into the calm and relaxed parent that you want to be.

Improving Your Child’s Behavior

In this two hour workshop, you’ll learn the skills you need to improve the behavior of your preschool to school age child at home and on the go.  Techniques including ignoring, attending, rewarding, and time-out will be covered and you’ll learn how to issue commands that your child will actually follow.  If you’ve ever struggled with controlling your child’s behavior, then this is one workshop that you won’t want to miss.

Managing Holiday Stress

Are you so stressed during the holidays that you can’t seem to enjoy the most wonderful time of the year?  This two hour workshop will teach you the skills you need to stress less and enjoy more this holiday season.  We’ll cover how to get organized, set a budget, learn to keep expectations realistic, and how to enlist help.  You’ll also learn the art of saying no, and parents will get tips on managing holiday stress in kids.

If you’re interested in one of these workshops for your next group or organization meeting, contact me for more information.

]]> https://childpsychmom.com/fall-parenting-workshops/feed/ 1 https://childpsychmom.com/does-my-child-have-adhd/ https://childpsychmom.com/does-my-child-have-adhd/#comments Wed, 09 Feb 2011 02:06:56 +0000 http://childpsychmom.com/?p=757 One of my specializations as a child psychologist is the evaluation of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).  As a result, many parents often ask me “Does my child have ADHD?” and “Should they be on medicine?”  For me, those are not quick and easy questions to answer.  Why?  Because before I diagnose any child with ADHD and make recommendations for their treatment, there’s A LOT of information that I need to gather and analyze!

As a parent and a professional, I feel strongly that a thorough evaluation is necessary before making a diagnosis of ADHD (or any disorder) and recommending treatment options.  Think about this analogy.  Imagine your son’s teacher suggests to you that your child might have a vision problem.  Would you go online and take a vision questionnaire and then order a pair of glasses based on the results?  Of course not!  If you’re like me, you would be incredibly appreciative to the teacher for their concern, and then you would make an appointment with an optometrist to have your child’s vision thoroughly evaluated.  IF the results from the testing showed a vision impairment, THEN you would get them glasses from a qualified professional.  Not before!

This same line of thinking applies to ADHD, as well.  If you or your child’s teacher suspects that he or she is having trouble with inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsivity, then a thorough evaluation is necessary to determine the nature of their difficulties before considering medication as a treatment option.  There are many medications that help children with ADHD considerably, but if you’re like me, you probably only want your child to take medication if it is absolutely necessary.

In a my dream world, every child that exhibits symptoms of ADHD would get a thorough evaluation by a licensed child psychologist before being prescribed medication from their physician.  You’d hate to have your child put on medicine for ADHD when a full psychological evaluation might have revealed a Learning Disorder or problems with depression or anxiety.  Or, like many children with ADHD, your child might suffer from multiple conditions which might go undetected without a full assessment.

Unfortunately, there are often factors that get in the way of a child being thoroughly evaluated before receiving treatment.  In my opinion, the most common obstacles are time and money.  A full psychological evaluation can take a lot of time and can be expensive.  Sometimes your health insurance will cover the costs, but sometimes it doesn’t.  So, I’ll concede that there are situations where a full psychological evaluation may not be feasible.

But, back in my dream world where time and money are abundant, here are some things that I like to include when I assess a child for ADHD:

• A thorough interview with both the parent and child (and ideally their teachers).
• A review of the child’s psychological, academic, and medical records, including confirmation of a recent exam by their physician to rule out any medical issues or hearing or vision impairments that could be contributing to their symptoms.
• A mental status examination.
• An intelligence test.
• A test of academic achievement.
• Rating scales about behavioral and emotional problems completed by the child, their parents, and their teachers.
• Rating scales about ADHD symptoms completed by the parents and teachers.
• A continuous performance task.
• Behavioral observations of the child in the clinic and in their school environment.  If a school observation isn’t feasible, then structured clinic observations of the child completing academic work.
• And last but not least, any other test or measure that appears warranted given the child’s specific situation, symptoms, or test results.

If you’re worried that your child may have ADHD, get in contact with your child’s pediatrician for a full physical evaluation (including vision and hearing screenings).  Then locate a child psychologist in your area to obtain a full psychological evaluation for your child.  Some school systems even have psychologists available to assist with the evaluation.  Your child’s psychologist will help select the best assessment for your child and get you on the right track to answering your question, “Does my child have ADHD?”

]]> https://childpsychmom.com/does-my-child-have-adhd/feed/ 21 https://childpsychmom.com/finding-the-right-book/ https://childpsychmom.com/finding-the-right-book/#respond Tue, 01 Feb 2011 02:50:24 +0000 http://childpsychmom.com/?p=688 Dear Polly,

My husband and I recently adopted a preschool aged child.  It’s hard to find age appropriate adoption books that aren’t geared toward the more traditional adoption narrative. We’d like a book that helps us talk about her adoption that wasn’t because we “waited and waited and hoped and hoped,” but was, rather, an emergency family foster placement? Do you know of any?

You’re on the right track!  It is so important to give your daughter age appropriate information about her life story, and the traditional adoption stories may confuse her given her unique situation.

That being said, there are a few books out there that might be able to help.  One that is often used by therapists, especially when dealing with older child adoptions or foster care situations, is All About Adoption: How Families Are Made & How Kids Feel About It.  This book is written by clinical psychologists and includes lots of information on different adoption scenarios.  To me, it’s a must read.

Other child geared stories  about adoption that are fairly general include Rosie’s Family: An Adoption Story and A Mother for Choco.  If you don’t have these already, they make for great bedtime reading with an adopted child.  Their simple stories are a great starting point for deeper family discussions, especially as your little one grows up.

Another favorite tip of mine is to make your own book that is specific to your child and their unique situation.  You can make a book these days just about anywhere there is a photo center or at multiple sites online, like Snapfish or Shutterfly.

You can write the narrative to be as specific to your child as you want to, including information about their life before their adoption, your life before children, and then the life that you now have together as a family.  Pictures in the book can be actual pictures of your child, or you can use stock photos that are often available online at no charge.

I like to suggest this topic for any situation where a book would be a useful, but there just isn’t one available that works.  For example, a personalized book can often help a child cope with situations like the death of a loved one, divorce, a move, changing schools, upcoming surgery, illness, or just about any other difficulty you can think of.

Most people think picture books are only to celebrate good memories, like family vacations, birthday parties, or school days.  But really, they can be just as useful to teach your child about their life story or to communicate with them during difficult circumstances.  Your child will better understand and be more likely to enjoy a personalized story, and the book will surely be a good start to more in-depth discussions.  And with kids, that’s always a plus!

If you’ve got a question that you’d like to see featured on Ask Polly, just visit my contact page and submit your idea or question. I look forward to hearing from you!

My parents divorced when I was eight years old, and thirty(ish) years later that event is still one of the defining moments of my life.  As a child I viewed their divorce as a definite negative, but over time I have come to appreciate the many positives that have come my way as a direct result.

When parents divorce, research has shown that some children can experience difficulties with anxiety, depression, anger, and other emotional and behavioral issues.  Some children experience these symptoms for a brief duration, while others can continue to have adjustment problems for months or even years following a divorce.

Researchers have also found that some children do not exhibit measurable emotional or behavioral problems following a divorce, and some kids may even show improvements after a divorce (especially those who come from homes that were considered “high-conflict” before the divorce).

So, what’s my point you may ask?  That after a divorce kids can either stay the same, get worse, or get better?  That’s not rocket science.  In fact, that’s just the way kids are in general.  Different.  Every child is different, and how they react to a divorce (or any other difficult circumstance) depends on a lot of things.  Their personality, their genetic makeup, their birth order, their temperament, their life history, etc., etc., etc. can all contribute to how they react.

But another thing that helps make divorce easier (or harder) on a child is the behavior of the parents.  Parents have the ability to work towards making their divorce as painless as possible on their kids.  But a parent’s behavior can also make divorce pretty painful.  Here are a few don’ts that you can use to ease the burden of divorce on your children:

• Don’t fight with your ex-spouse in front of your kids.

• Don’t talk badly about your ex-spouse in front of your children.

• Don’t ask your kids to pick sides.

• Don’t expect your children to be your social support or therapist.

For more detailed tips like these, check out my most favorite book for parents going through a divorce, Making Divorce Easier on Your Child: 50 Effective Ways to Help Children Adjust.  Your children will thank you for it, and you’ll feel more assured that you’re helping your child best handle this difficult time in both of your lives.

1.  Before your trip, obtain a documentation letter from your pediatrician or psychologist that includes your child’s diagnosis and their need for special accommodations while traveling.

2.  Once you arrive at a Disney park, bring your letter to Guest Relations.  The location of Guest Relations is easily found on the park map, and they are usually located very close to the park entrance.  With your letter, you should be provided with a Guest Assistance Card and Guidebook to use during your trip.  With the Guest Assistance Card, you and your child can bypass some of the longer lines and waits that can be difficult for a child with autism to endure.

3.  Some of the attractions at Disney World are loud and might upset a child with autism.  Be sure to pack earplugs or earphones to help soften the noise.  Similarly, fireworks are a frequent occurrence.  If your child is afraid of fireworks or the noise associated with them, consider going to an indoor attraction during the fireworks display.  This is often a great time to enjoy attractions without the crowds because most park guests are busy outside looking at the fireworks!

4.  Even with a Guest Assistance Card, at Disney World sometimes a wait is inevitable.  Bring your child’s favorite electronic handheld game to distract them during waits.  Also, try to avoid peak travel seasons  if at all possible so that the crowds are less overwhelming.

5.  Check out guidebooks and websites about Disney World in advance of your trip.  Some of the attractions might be too scary for a child with autism, so you might want to skip those.  Also, if you know your child is scared of a specific character or movie, you can plan to avoid attractions that might include their feared character.

For more tips on traveling to Disney World with a child with special needs, visit the Walt Disney World Moms Panel, where you can ask specific questions about your upcoming trip, All Ears, or Disboards.  Any of these resources, along with the official Walt Disney World website can provide you with all of the information you will need to make your trip a success.

Fun.  With four kids ranging in age from 2 to 13, there aren’t that many places that we can go where everyone is happy! But for our family, Disney World is that place. There is something fun there for kids of all ages (including the grownups), and Disney World has proven that to our family time and time again.

Value. I know that there are a lot of people out there who think that Disney is unaffordable, but I disagree! Disney offers vacation specials all the time and if you buy multiple day passes, your tickets are deeply discounted. Staying on property at a Disney Resort is very affordable, especially if you choose a Value Resort. When you bundle your room, park tickets, and meals you’ll always save big (especially if you’re lucky enough to be traveling during the free Dining Plan special Disney typically offers each fall). And, if you live close enough to drive like we do, you don’t have the added expense of airfare.

Resort Perks. We love to stay in the Disney owned and operated resorts. For starters, they are always well maintained and clean, plus being there just puts you in the Disney spirit! In addition, if you stay on property you get free parking at the parks (normally $14/day) or free shuttle service to the airport and parks if you don’t have a vehicle. But, the best perks are the Extra Magic Hours. If you have your resort key, you can visit a selected park each day either an hour before it opens or up to three hours after it closes to the public. Some of our most treasured Disney memories are late at night when the crowds are long gone and we have the place to ourselves.

Fast Passes. Disney offers a way to ride your favorite attractions without having to wait in long lines. Simply go to the Fast Pass distribution area at your favorite attraction and insert your park ticket. You’ll be given a ticket with a time that you can come back to ride and bypass the line. Other theme parks, like Six Flags or Universal Studios, offer this service for a fee, but at Disney World the Fast Pass is a free service to all guests.

Rider Swap. When you’ve got a baby, a big kid, and a roller coaster to ride, then there’s an obvious problem. Who’s going to watch the baby? Of course Disney has it all figured out. Here’s how the rider swap works. Go to an attraction entrance with your kids and tell them you need a rider swap pass. One parent goes on the ride with the older children, while the other parent stays with the baby. When they are finished with the ride, the parents swap and the other parent gets to take their turn riding with the older kids. The big kids get to ride twice and both parents get a chance to experience the attraction. Not to mention, the baby stays safe and sound!  We have used this countless times and appreciate Disney offering this service to their guests.

Cleanliness. I’ve been to a number of theme parks and other entertainment venues in my day and none are as clean as Disney. Despite the number of people visiting the parks each day, they always manage to keep things looking top notch. Garbage cans are magically emptied, bathrooms stay clean, and you’d be hard pressed to find any litter on Main Street!

Customer Service. Disney is the most magical place on earth for a reason, the people who work there! They go out of their way to make your vacation experience a great one. Once during a pop up Florida rainstorm, a Disney cast member gave me their umbrella because I did not have one to cover my baby who was sleeping in her stroller. Another time, a cast member gave my daughter a lanyard full of trading pins when we realized she had lost hers! And once when we were at the Magic Kingdom at 2 a.m. with our exhausted kids, a cast member stayed on Main Street and visited with us to try to cheer up our crying child. You just don’t get customer service like that anywhere but Disney!

Food. Disney has a wide variety of delicious dining options. From simple snacks and counter service meals to exquisite three course meals from around the world, there is truly something for everyone. Want to really get the most out of  eating at Disney? Purchase the Disney Dining Plan, and you’ll get a chance to enjoy all that Disney has to offer. Our kids love Character Dining because they get a chance to meet all of their favorite characters without waiting in lines, while also getting a great meal in an air conditioned restaurant!

Learning. While Disney parks are known for providing fun and entertainment, there are also countless learning opportunities to take advantage of. Epcot is full of educational attractions, from Living with the Land to the World Showcase and everything in between. Magic Kingdom has the Hall of Presidents and “it’s a small world,” along with a riverboat, just to name a few. At Animal Kingdom you can learn about conservation, the environment, and animals from around the world.  Even Hollywood Studios boasts exposure to live theatrical performances and historical overviews of the entertainment industry!  I always feel like my children have been exposed to countless educational experiences after our trips to Disney World.

Special Needs. As a child psychologist, I’m always on the lookout for how children with special needs are treated. Disney hits the mark again on this one. With appropriate documentation from your physician, you can obtain a Guest Assistance Card from Guest Relations to obtain special accommodations to make your child’s trip truly magical.  From autism to dietary restrictions to mobility impairments, you will not be disappointed by the services that Disney has to offer.

I hope that you and your family get a chance to enjoy the Disney magic as much as we have.  We can’t wait for our next trip!

As a child psychologist, I had often been on the other side of that table, being the one giving parents the news that their child met the diagnostic criteria for autism.  This was the first time I experienced that moment from the viewpoint of the parent.

The one thing that I have learned from this family that has made the biggest impression on me, is that there is no way for any of us to truly understand what it is like to have a child with autism unless you actually have one.  I think the same can be said for parents of children with any type of disorder or disease, whether psychological or medical, but it especially true with autism.

With the incidence of Autism Spectrum Disorder currently at 1 in 110 children*, it’s likely that all of us know of someone with the disorder.  Given that likelihood, what can we as parents do to support other parents who have children with Autism, Asperger’s Disorder, or other Developmental Disabilities?

First, try to learn what you can about autism from reputable sources.  Autism Speaks and the Autism Society both offer accurate and up to date information online about the disorder.

NBC’s hit show, Parenthood, features a boy named Max who is diagnosed with Asperger’s Disorder.  This show truly offers a behind the scenes look at Autism Spectrum Disorders and the day to day impact on families.  For me, this show is a must see each week.

Next, make an effort to include the child and their family in a way that meets their needs.  Schedule a play date with your children or invite the family to a get together.  Find out if there is anything you can do to make the outing or event  as successful as possible.  Children with autism are more than their diagnosis.  Get to know them, their likes and dislikes, their hobbies and interests, and you’ll be certain to find more things in common than you ever realized!

Finally, and most importantly, don’t talk badly about children with special needs.  These children and their families are people, too.  The last thing they want is for their child or their family being made fun of because of their disorder.

My friend experienced this one night at the soccer field.  She was sitting next to someone who was talking on their cell phone and making fun of a child with autism.  Having a child with autism of her own, this of course hurt her deeply.  We can’t ever forget that our words, whether intentionally or not, have the power to work for good or for bad.  We can choose each and every day to make them work for good.

From one parent to another, I encourage you not to let the diagnosis of autism keep you from reaching out to a child or a family.  I’m sure you’ll find that like me, you’ll be the one blessed beyond measure.

*Since the writing of this post in 2010, the incidence of autism spectrum disorder has climbed to 1 in 88 children.